


✩ Waves crashing against the shore

by yugkookisreal



Series: epigraph [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Childhood Friends, Crack Treated Seriously, Cute, Friendship/Love, Gentle Kissing, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Producer Min Yoongi | Suga, Seaside, Soft Min Yoongi | Suga, Surprise Kissing, Yoo Kihyun-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 19:53:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15541773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yugkookisreal/pseuds/yugkookisreal
Summary: ✩ they left each other before they could understand what they were feeling. but after years later yoongi's back and kihyun wants to hate him. instead he wants him to answer all of his questions, ease his mind a little bit before life in the village kills him.[lower case intended]





	✩ Waves crashing against the shore

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in the middle of the night while running high on the angst a fanfic left me in. and i love writing anything and everything aesthetic which led to this. i think it took a past chanbaek fan fiction's idea which i warped into a this and my angst driven heart. i'm literally crazy at night so i kind of glad this story has this dream like stuff in there, hopefully at least

 

 

✩

 

kihyun had always believed in the old fashioned way of life, but yoongi, yoongi never did. he moved farther in life, believed in the new, accepting whatever pleased him. that's why when they graduated, they left to walk their different paths. kihyun decided to stay behind, in their small village. but yoongi, he opted to leave. and leave he did. one day he was there and the other he was not but nobody cared.

the young left, it was a way of life for their deteriorating village.

but one day, there was yoongi again, not gone but back in the same dusty neighborhood of their childhood. he was the same, yet so much different, so alien in a village which nobody knew about. a village filled with the old, where the young was a sore and ill fitting sight to see.

kihyun couldn't get himself to see him, even when yoongi had walked a street away from him, his eyes closed as he bobbed his head to the music. kihyun heard music, but it was from the weathered old radio he owned, nothing in comparison to the expensive and up to date technology yoongi had brought with him.

he didn't belong here, but somehow with his unwavering gaze and gummy smile he did. somehow he managed to fit himself in, like a missing puzzle in the timeless village.

kihyun saw him nearly everyday, as he came down to the shore, where kihyun had gotten himself a room. he sat by the window, staring at the pale man. yoongi seemed healthy, more put, mature as he sat on the mossy rock, legs open, trousers pulled up. cold freezing water lapped around his feet but he seemed to hardly care, his now blonde hair pushed back messily. he still looked the same with the thin pale structure of his. but now his eyes weren't bloodshot, his shoulders not tense with the unreliable emotions running, intermixing with his blood. he seemed to have found himself while kihyun hadn't.

and that's why he couldn't get himself out of the door and to the man he had called his brother, once upon a time.

yoongi intimidated him with his city looks and confident stride. having less to say, the man still spoke thousands of words with his body language and caught everyone's attention. they loved him, loved the fact that he came back successful and happy while none of their offspring did. some turned successful but never came back, even for a day; others they came back broken, having been outwitted by those much better then them. and so they got themselves jobs, though not the best but still affordable in their town and taught their toddlers who pranced around, talking nonsense.

somehow yoongi had even gotten the rejected to love him, love the city him. the one who made millions upon millions from his job, was famous and loved by many. and this fact terrified him, caused the jealously and envy in him to rear their ugly heads at him.

but somehow on a  stormy tuesday, he found himself moving carefully towards the tide where yoongi sat, staring at the sea blankly. he didn't know what he was doing, why he was doing this but he had to go to him. nothing of importance had happened today though he had barely gotten glimpse of the blonde. it was an uneventful day, like it was everyday so why was he here, settling himself on a nearby rock to stare blatantly at him.

it seemed like ages, when yoongi turned to look at him, a frown on his soft lips. "kihyun". he said. there was no emotion behind it, like it was a fact, not a surprise that he had still remembered his name in the several years which had passed rather quickly.

"...yoongi", he replied. the single word spoke to much, spoke of the hours he had spent worrying, crying and fretting over the man, spoke of the years spent without having each other, spoke of the difficulties, the deaths he had faced alone. it spoke too much and he suddenly feared that somehow yoongi felt everything he had felt with the name.

he kept staring at him, inhaling everything about him, analyzing his very being. he coughed, trying and failing to cut the tension between them.

and suddenly the blonde's eyes softened and he reached forward, cupping his cheek. his hand was cold but kihyun still pressed his face against it, closing his eyes at the familiar touch which brought too many memories with it. yoongi murmured his name again, and he seemed to come out a trance, a dream where he had never left. kihyun gasped, reaching forward to grab the blonde's hands and drag him to his small cottage.

it only had only room but it still served its purpose but now having the older inside his small hut, he couldn't help but feel insecure. yoongi stared at everything, the rumpled bed in the corner, the old television and kitchenette with its pots and laddles and the two uncomfortable looking chairs pushed against the other corner.

yoongi threw himself on the bed, only to wince at the loud whine the mattress made under his weight. kihyun blushed, embarrassed but decided not to say anything, busying himself by dusting at his bare feet from where he sat on the chair. It was warm inside the hut, unlike the raging winds outside.

they didn't say anything, letting the silence turn tense from their corners. he had so many questions to ask him, but now having him under his cottage nothing came into his mind. it confused him, but couldn't get himself to speak up and tell him the truth, the questions he needed answers to.

it seemed like yoongi was waiting too, but soon enough it grew annoying and he spoke to him. and kihyun exhaled, he didn't after all had to start the awkward talk among them. among best of friends who distanced themselves at the age of nineteen. " so what have you been up to?"

kihyun couldn't get himself to answer, couldn't get himself to believe that the older had asked this of him. after the years in which they had deserted each other, kihyun had many questions but yoongi this was what he only had. or if it wasn't, this was what he had managed to spew out of that mouth of his his.

and suddenly there was the anger, the fiery red and hot kind choking him, rising from the depths he had hidden it in. frustration bubbled inside him, and he wanted to scream. and scream he did, letting out the years old frustration out of himself, out of the rugged and broken corners the older had left.

yoongi didn't say anything, didn't voice his thoughts or stopped him from spitting out insults at him. his expression didn't give away anything, he just opened up his arms for kihyun to fall into. the hold he had been missing, the constant warmth which pressed into him, lulling his frantic heart into putty.

but he kept crying, screaming into his shirt, tears rolling out his cheeks. he let out everything until there was nothing left to say, the sadness he had gone through alone numbing his heart until he was all but slumped against the thin but warm body of his familiar. his familiar which he had thought he'd lost, the familiar who was back, wrapping his arms around him. like he had never left.

he had nothing left to cry about but he still cried, broken sobs curling out of his chest as his tears dried up. throughout all this, yoongi had kept drawing comforting circles in his back and threading his fingers through his hair and finally he stopped.

and kihyun looked up, with his face pressed into his chest, his legs bend and arms wrapped around his torso. the questions were still there, the ones who badly needed the answers to and he spoke up. his voice broken and hoarse, thick and rough around the edges as he scrunched at the shirt yoongi was wearing. "you promised that you'll never leave me so why did you yoongi? why did you leave me to rot in this fucking hell hole?!"

the scream broke and he curled back into the loosening hold, pushing his face into his shirt feeling the warmth underneath the thin layer, the beating heart which somehow seemed so foreign. here he was, back in the arms of his past, the past whose he had tried to lock the memories off. he should've felt awkward, with his frame too big, too grown to comfortably settle in his open knees but somehow he was here again. back being pathetic in front of the one who was successful. "why?" he whispered, the voice to soft for the too silent room.

the only bulb in the small room was fused but kihyun couldn't get himself to move and light the lamp up, he felt too tired, ready to give up after the many years of struggle. he felt like crying yet again but tears refused to spill as he glared at the wall.

the pregnant silence seemed to grow louder and louder, tensing with the question he was dreading, the answer he needed but at the same time he didn't. and suddenly he heard yoongi whisper something, something too incoherent for him to pick up. the quiet seemed to thicken, choking the two of them and kihyun surged forward, clutching the fabric of his shirt to shake him slightly. "yoongi, you..you fucking traitor".

and the silence seemed to break like an ugly spell, the lightening crashing against the shore, the sea enveloping the rock which they previously occupied. the inhuman scream rose in the air, the scream of the gaggle of birds breaking through the dark clouds. it started the rain, finally after the weeks with no rain, the sky darkening as rain pelted from the sky.

"i don't know". the whisper made him look up, the voice too devoid, too soft for the storm raging outside. half of his face was shrouded in darkness, the eyes a mix of brutal emotions. and triumph rose within him, he did that, he left him with nothing when he had everything. has everything. "i don't know why i left you. i, i planned to leave with you, how much time it took but this place was killing me, and.. kihyun you know how they looked at us! i couldn't get myself to stay for long, i was too weak then, too afraid to face them and..". he looked down, grimacing at the male down on him."...i'm sorry".

he sat on the floor, the stone cold underneath him but he couldn't get him to care. licking his lips, nerves bubbling in his throat. he wanted to tell him that he hated him but he felt numb. with the frustration gone from his bottled up feelings, he couldn't get himself to feel anything. "....it doesn't help at all".

"i know but kihyun i...". his voice died down and he turned to stare at the window, outside at the increasingly darkening sky. "i...".

and then the answers where there out in the open, his face red from the tear tracks, his eyes bloodshot and his nose runny. he understood, finally and moved up slotting his mouth against the older's. it was soft, soft and soft and spoke to much and he pulled back almost immediately.

it was too short but it still broke his heart. and he rose up, pushing his legs together and settling on them, pulling the other back into the kiss.

yoongi seemed drunk, the eyes half lidded and as he returned the kisses feverishly. he sighed into the kiss, hot breath on his lips and reached forward to wrap his arms around his neck. he felt numb suddenly, the thoughts cloudy and his legs wrapped around yoongi's own. his lips were chapped, rough but it felt and tasted like the rainy days they had spent jumping in puddles, the sunny afternoons in which they drank juices and argued about their home works, the days before yoongi had left. in which he was extra clingy, so much that everyone though they were dating and whispered insults under their breaths at him when yoongi left.

and he gasped, pulling away to look him in the eye. yoongi waited, waited for kihyun to kiss him again, his fingers wiping at the fresh tears on his cheeks. his eyes crinkled and leaned down, cupping yoongi's cheek softly and pushing his mouth against his open one. closing his eyes, he relished in the feeling it brought him , the emotion which burned in his eyes, the answer to all his questions.

and suddenly he could say it, the words which were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't to say it, his body being too numb then.

"i still hate you", kihyun moaned into his mouth, his lips biting at the other's to show his point. and it was true, he still hated him but yoongi still meant a lot to him and he couldn't let go of his sugary smile. not yet or ever, he couldn't think. "but..."

"i know". yoongi replied back, smiling as they pulled away for air. kihyun smiled back, draping himself over the older and snuggling against his neck as outside the storm rattled the window on his small hut.

and usually he'll be afraid but right now, in his arms he was himself again. and he was sure that now he could finally be himself.

 

✩

**Author's Note:**

> don't forget to give kudos and a comment down below and i hope you have a amazing day so keep on smiling guys!!!  
> ^  
> ^  
> ^ would you look at that, i am my own enigma lol


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